Venting to an Emotionless Screen

I need a way to tell my dad that I will not be able to pull out an A in chemistry this quarter. It is just too hard of a class. I am in honors chem as a sophomore, which means I am a whole year and then some ahead of my peers. It's clearly too late to drop out to normal chem now. If I don't get the A my life is literally over. I hate having strict parents, they make everything so complicated for me. I have to strategize my weekends, and pick and choose which friends that I can hang out with. If I go out on a Friday chances are that I probably will not be able to go out on the Saturday following. So I need to pre plan everything with everyone, and pick which groups of people that I want to hang out with. This has caused me to lose a healthy amount of friendships and ties I've built because none of them understand. Also, the nights that my parents do approve me going out, I have to somehow manage to find rides everywhere. This can be really difficult because I live so far out in Schererville and all of my friends are in St. John and Dyer! I feel bad having them come to pick me up. I have my license but my parents said I am not allowed to use it until I have 2 b's or less on my report card. It's starting to make school so unenjoyable for me. I am constantly stressing about grades!!!! and they are just not where they need to be. I just want a clean slate to start with, but that's after the entire summer. There's no way I'll be able to drive though because of the grades that are coming in this quarter! A good analogy for my life right now is like trying to wipe oil off of glass with a leaf. You can try and try but the leaf will just keep ripping, the oil will just smear, and the glass will get scratched up. At least I'm still creative right? This whole paragraph/essay is just embarressing and I should really delete it. Not to mention all of the spelling errors there are weaved between these emotion filled sentences. I guess I'll keep it though because chances are that no one will read it, and I'll have to get 15 points on my blogs because this is hellllla lot longer than 2 sentences. I am such a troubled person, I'll once again have to take this opportunity to thank the people in my life that have kept me going through all of my nonsense. The ones who tell me that I matter and that they care when I am at my lowest of lows. They know who they are, and they won't read this because they probably don't even know I have this blog thing. But I'm gonna say thanks anyways, because I would do absolutly anything for them and what do I have to lose at this point. Thankyou Brooke and Liz, for getting me this far. And I can't forget the rest of my Polekatz! Thanks guys for everything, You have no idea how much you mean to me. I love all of you! So lets see, if you have cared enough to actually read this entire blog then congratulations! It seems that you've made it to the end! Thankyou too, even if you are a complete stranger for helping me get through this funk with this post. I'm not crazy I swear, well maybe a little but who cares anyways. I'm out.