alright.

I was hoping that I'd never have to blog another sad thought again, but there is just too much going on in my life. I need to vent in any way possible right now. Well my house is bought, and I am moving to Ohio for my second half of junior year and my whole senior year. I just told my best friend, and we cried together hysterically. She is what I will miss the most out of everything, not the house I've been living in for 17 years, not my grandparents, not my other friends, her. It is killing me to even think about what mental state I will be in when she isn't constantly present in my life anymore. I'm not gonna have someone to be one step behind me every time I'm dieing at practice, or to get me ready for parties. Not gonna have her to have our heart to hearts or laugh at our inside jokes. I'm not gonna have her there for me every time I need a hardcore vent session. I tear up just thinking about it. She is undoubtidly the number one thing I will miss and I don't know how to make it better. I can't imagine going through anything anymore. When I get to my new school, I'm not gonna do track. I'm not gonna do my homework, I'm not gonna talk to anyone. I refuse, maybe my dad will realize just how drastic this whole situation is on me if thats what I have to do. I will be the most unproductive child ever, and he can ground me all he wants. He can take my phone/laptop/ipod/tv anything away and it won't effect me because I'll have no friends there anyways. I just wish that all of this was a nightmare, and that I would wake up already. I can't take this anymore. I need to figure out some way to stay here, I don't know how but I need too. I just can't leave, so please God hear my prayers every single night. I just don't want to go